words in movies
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed!
Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler.
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay!
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Ross: I knew that was him!
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Will: That was such a fun night!
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Monica: Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'?
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
Monica: Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'?
Chandler: But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes�no big deal.
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
JULIE: And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
PHOE: Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice.
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Ross: Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I wasn't staring. I was leering.
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
CHAN: Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
MONICA: I was.
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
Barry: ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
Phoebe: How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
MONICA: Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
Eric: I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.
EDDIE: What was that?
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Monica: Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
RACHEL: What was the book?
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Chandler: I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon?
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Phoebe: How'd you know I was coming?
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Lydia: So how did you know I was even here?
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.
Joey: Ooh, I was gonna say bologna, but thats much better. How about a little of that smoked turkey?