words in movies
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Phoebe: Yeah. But I also believed her (points to the phone) when she said I was next.
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
Ross: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Will: That was such a fun night!
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Monica: Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'?
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Monica: Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'?
Chandler: But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes�no big deal.
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
JULIE: And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
PHOE: Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice.
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Ross: Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I wasn't staring. I was leering.
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
CHAN: Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
MONICA: I was.
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
Barry: ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
Phoebe: How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
MONICA: Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
Eric: I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.
EDDIE: What was that?
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Monica: Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
RACHEL: What was the book?
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.