words in movies
Ross: Whew! That was a brisk ride!
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Joey: Well, when Jake did it I saw that he was wearing womens underwear!
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Joey: Yknow, Im beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Rachel: Be-because the last one was such a big seller?
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Joey: Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come!
Rachel: I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Chandler: Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all.
Elizabeth: Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that Im going to Florida for a couple weeks.
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
Monica: I thought I was something that we both wanted!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Ray: Uh well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didnt follow it.
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Ross: Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I dont think he-he knew what it was.
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Rachel: I dont know, you thought See you Saturday was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me.
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
Ross: Because it's soft... Hey, so how was your date?
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
Rachel: My father had an heart attack... (crying) ...while I was at Barney’s.
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you!
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again)
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? Im sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.)
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!
Joey: Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London.
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Dina: Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
Ross: I dont care about your dad! I care about Mona! She was there and now shes totally freaked out!
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Joey: (a little giddy) Uh, was that good for you?
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Man At The Wedding: But there was no flash.
Chandler: I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.
Ross: That word was swans.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes!
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Was that another joke?
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.