words in movies
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Chandler: All right, look, look, what am I gonna do?
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Phoebe: Ooh, what do I smell?
Phoebe: What? What?
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
All: What?!
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joey: What the heck is that?
Ross: Hes right, what she did was unforgivable.
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Joshua: What do you think?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Joey: Okay, for next time, what do you say?
Joey: Whats ready?
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
Ross: What are you saying?
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? I was wrong.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Rachel: Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then
Rachel: What is that noise?
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Janine: (not sure of what to make of that) Okay.
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?
Ross: Of course, what happened? (Lets her in.)
Rachel: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)
Ross: No you doy'know what, youre not gonna suck me into this.
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
JOEY: All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Monica: Well if-if thats what it is, then its-its crazy.
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first?
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board.
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Tag: What did Joey say? I like you back?
Rachel: Umm, I think hes still out. Whats wrong?
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
Joey: Yeah, what are ya gonna do?
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning?
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Mr. Posner: You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you�re right. I think � listen, listen!
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
Chandler: What are you guys? Like a gang or something?!
Joey: Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Amy: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Rachel: Yeah! No that's what I was thinking.