words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Dr. Miller: 1 2! (She flinches again.) (Gives up.) Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: What?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Joey: Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break.
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Joey: What?!
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
STEPHANIE: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up?
JOEY: What?
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)
GUY: What.
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
CHANDLER: (To Monica) What is he doing?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
RACH: [hurt] What?
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Rachel: What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
JULIE: What?
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Phoebe: (sings) I can't believe what I'm hearing here...
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
PHOE: What makes it pilgrim?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
Monica: (still writing) Phyllis sees what Im doing.
PHOE: What?
MNCA: What?
PHOE: What were you thinking?
Chandler: Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
CHAN: What are you doing out there?
RACH: That's what I said.
Frank Jr.: Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules.
MNCA: What?
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, all six are playing Pictionary at Monica's apartment. Monica is drawing a picture, and the three guys are guessing. She draws what looks like an airplane.]
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: Yeah but, maybe its not what we think. Maybe its tell Monica Im sorry I drank the last of the milk.
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for.
Rachel: What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Rachel: What? What!?! You kissed him?
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
MNCA: What?
Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
ROSS: What? What's wrong?
PHOE: OK, so, you know what you're doing, right?
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
ROSS: What do you mean?
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Rachel: What are you going to make?
Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. Itll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
RACH: What?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Ross: Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science.
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
ROSS: Of... of what?
MNCA: What about me?
Rachel: Oh, yknow what you should get em? One of those little uh, portable CD players.
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Chandler: Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what?
MONICA: What?
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!