words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Dr. Miller: 1 2! (She flinches again.) (Gives up.) Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: What?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Joey: Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break.
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Joey: What?!
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? I was wrong.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Rachel: Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then
Rachel: What is that noise?
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Janine: (not sure of what to make of that) Okay.
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?
Ross: Of course, what happened? (Lets her in.)
Rachel: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)
Ross: No you doy'know what, youre not gonna suck me into this.
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
JOEY: All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Monica: Well if-if thats what it is, then its-its crazy.
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first?
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board.
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Tag: What did Joey say? I like you back?
Rachel: Umm, I think hes still out. Whats wrong?
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
Joey: Yeah, what are ya gonna do?
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning?
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Mr. Posner: You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you�re right. I think � listen, listen!
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
Chandler: What are you guys? Like a gang or something?!
Joey: Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Amy: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Rachel: Yeah! No that's what I was thinking.