words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Dr. Miller: 1 2! (She flinches again.) (Gives up.) Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: What?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Joey: Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break.
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Joey: What?!
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Ross: No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting?
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump changeooh, what do I do?! What will I do?!
Rachel: What?!
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Rachel: (worried) What?
Joey: What?! Why?!
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Monica: What?!
Phoebe: What?
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Monica: I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do!
Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?
Cop: (stopping her) Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with?
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: What?!
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Ross: WhaWhat?
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Ross: What was wrong with Mona?
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Chandler: What are you doin?
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Ross: What?! Chandler shes our cousin!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Rachel: well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Rachel: What? What happened?
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Joey: (panicked) Uhhh.. y'know what? Forget about me. Let's, uh... let's give you another turn.
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
Joey: What?!?! Oh dear God!
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Monica: Okay, yknow what? Dont worry, okay? Well take care of it. Well call her. Just go home and get ready.
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
Ben: Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Higher or lower than what?
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Rachel: What?
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
Rachel: Wh-wh-what? What?
Ross: What?!
Monica: What?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Ross: Uh, what?
Joey: WhatWhy?!
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Monica: Yknow what? Youre-youre right.
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?
Ross: What are you doing up?
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Chandler: What about it?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that Ill stop seeing her?
Rachel: What?!
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Joey: What the hell!
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Joey: Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: What does a Wicked Wango card do?
Theodore: I can't imagine what he sees in her.
<Joey realizes what she's doing>
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Ross: What?!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!