words in movies
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Rachel: Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail...
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Mike: You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during...
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-
Joey: Oh my God. (Still in shock when his mobile rings, he picks it up) Hello?
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Chandler: Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this (Starts to dancing really, really, really badly. Ross enters behind him and he stops.)
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Eric: In fact when we were building houses in Uruguay, we were, we were just two towns apart and we never met.
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Rachel: Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when youre at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!!
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Rachel: Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head!
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey's home alone, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Joey: (to Phoebe) Look at you. Since when do you roller blade?
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You�ll understand when you�ll see Joey.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Mr. Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
ROSS: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in (Realizes, that Chandler starts to not believing her) I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
Ross: What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.