words in movies
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Woman: Im very interested to find out whos been doing her taxes these last four years.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Ross: Whos that?
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Eric: Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who eats lunch.
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Frank: (noticing the puppy) Oh, whos this little guy?! (Grabs the puppy)
Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Ross: (leaning into the recorder as well) Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Ross: Whos that?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list?
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Sarah: The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Ross: Whos Chip?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Cheryl: (sneaking up behind Ross) Guess who?
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Ross: Who is Maria?
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Rachel: No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So!
Joey: Who?
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: Oh, ah with who?
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Joey: Whos Elaine?
Rachel: It depends on who asked.
RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger?
Monica: (answering it) Who is it?
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Elizabeth: (ignoring him and picking up a pitcher) Who drank all the Kamikazes?
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Ross: Who wants to make some long distance calls?
Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here.
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.