words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
CHANDLER: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
ROB: You OK?
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
ERICA: Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord.
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible.
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
JANITOR: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
JANITOR: Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows?
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
RACHEL: Well, so what're you gonna do?
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
ERICA: How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
ERICA: How, how can you be here and there.
ERICA: Drake, what're you getting at?
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
ROB: Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
ROB: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
MONICA: What did you say?
CHANDLER: Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
SUSIE: But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
MONICA: You flicked me first.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
SUSIE: How you doin there squirmy?
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
SUSIE: I want you right here, right now.
SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
SUSIE: Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off.
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
SUSIE: Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind.
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
CHANDLER: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
VAN DAMME: Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
ROSS: I was saving you.
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Clerk: You need to fill out this form. (motions for the next person in line)
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
MONICA: Alright, but I'm very excited about this OK, so you gotta promise you won't get all big-brothery and judgmental.
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.
JOEY: Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel.
Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Monica: Hey, cheer up! Youre gonna see her again, right?
Phoebe: So, what should you have done?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Aurora: (gets up to leave) Well, call me if you change your mind.
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Ross: So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Joey: (still very puzzled) Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that!
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Rachel: Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. (she enters her room and closes the door.)
Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Mischa: Hes says, Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.
Ross: Damn, I forgot you were here.
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Phoebe: Okay, you know where you are better than I do. I was just curious.
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Phoebe: Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates?
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
ESTL: Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? [a knock on the door] Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
Ross: I have no idea. I mean But-but I assure you I will figure it out.