words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
CHANDLER: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
ROB: You OK?
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
ERICA: Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord.
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible.
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
JANITOR: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
JANITOR: Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows?
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
RACHEL: Well, so what're you gonna do?
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
ERICA: How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
ERICA: How, how can you be here and there.
ERICA: Drake, what're you getting at?
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
ROB: Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
ROB: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
MONICA: What did you say?
CHANDLER: Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
SUSIE: But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
MONICA: You flicked me first.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
SUSIE: How you doin there squirmy?
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
SUSIE: I want you right here, right now.
SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
SUSIE: Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off.
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
SUSIE: Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind.
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
CHANDLER: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
VAN DAMME: Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: And so bad. I dont even know what youre talking about because I didnt ask you to do anything!
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Rachel: Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something.
Chandler: Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. (Points at the door.)
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Monica: You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Charlie: It's so... something... You go girlfriend!
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Matt: I have had some clumsy moments I guess you can call em.
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Helena: Chandler? What an unusual name! You mustve had terribly fascinating parents.
Jill: Were you this cute in high school?
MONICA: I can't believe you thought I was cheating.� (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.
Monica: Yes, I want to change. And why-why dont you go down and get us a table?
Rachel: Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
Monica: I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.
Rachel: IF you hold a spider.
Chandler: Because youve only known her for six weeks! Okay, Ive got a carton of milk in my fridge Ive had a longer relationship with!
Chandler: OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Zack: I'm gonna take off now. You're gonna let me go home, aren't you?
Rachel: Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Chandler: I need to talk to you, it's urgent!
Rachel: Okay, yknow, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean we could pack all this stuff up and yknow go to your apartment.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Monica: I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: So were you guys together a long time?
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
Monica: (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)
Monica: Thanks, Im set. Do you still live with your parents?
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...
Chandler: Youre turning into a women.
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Mona: Hey, you guys could arm wrestle.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Rachel: I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture!
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.