words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Joey: You forget how many great songs Heart had.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Ross: Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
Gunther: (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Monica: No, thank you.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: You got it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Phoebe: Who said you were?
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Gunther: Okay, Ill see you in an hour.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Patron: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine.
Monica: You just wanna each take one?
Frannie: You had sex, didn't you?
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Joey: Come on, I mean, you know me, you know...
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
RUSS: Hey, you listen.
Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
ROB: You OK?
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
FBOB: You too.
Kim: You didnt cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.
Boy in the Cape: You cant tell me to shut up!
Joey: Yeah, you shoulda been there last night.
Kate: Im soo glad I caught you, I couldnt find you before.
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
Monica: Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve?
Chandler: Here you go. (Shows her the number again.)
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Ross: Okay, all right, Ill take you. Ill go call Joan. (Does so.)
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together?
Joey: You wont boss me around anymore?
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)
Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
Ross: Thats what you said last night.
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
MONICA: What did you say?
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
ROSS: Good for you.
Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
Ross: You too! What are the odds?
RACHEL: Wow. Wow, that's great. Great. Ok, wow, you know what.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?
Joey: Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake.
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
Ross: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
CHAN: So what'd you do?
Gunther: Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Mr. Geller: Wait, how do you zoom out? (zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich) There she is.
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Ross: So youre strong enough to face her on your own?
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Monica: I mean dont you trust her?
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Rachel: Thank you! Youre great! (They kiss.)
Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.
Rachel: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.