words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Joey: You forget how many great songs Heart had.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Ross: Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
Gunther: (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Monica: No, thank you.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: You got it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Phoebe: Who said you were?
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Gunther: Okay, Ill see you in an hour.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Patron: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Phoebe: Ick, you were eavesdropping.
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Monica: Here you go!
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: I'll pull you through.
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Chandler: Can you ever feel your ears?
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Chandler: Are you serious? (they hug)
Rachel: I'm so happy for you!
Monica: You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Joey: Oh, I know how you feel...
Monica: All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys!
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: See, didn't I tell you?! You're getting over Ross already!
Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody?
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
Phoebe: Or you could stick a fork in an apple!
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Phoebe: Thank God you’re here. Listen to this!
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
ROSS: Look, can, can you do something for me?
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Joey: (impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?
Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Phoebe: Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney.
Monica: Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive...
Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
Rachel: Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him.
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Rachel: (embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that.
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Chandler: You have gotta stop!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.
Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food.
Phoebe: No, you have to let me in right now!!
Rachel: Ah yes, but hes very protective of me so youd better watch yourself.
Chandler: You know when guys hang out they dont just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Erica: So who are you?
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Rachel: I mean you definitely should do that.
Erica: So you lied to me before?
Flight Attendant: Sir? Sir? Excuse me, sir? Uh... I have a message for you.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Mr. Treeger:: You have pets!
Chandler: You still want that baby?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Rachel: No, you gotta pick one!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work...
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Rachel: (reading the note) "Pheebs, cant make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think?
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!
Joey: Dont worry! Dont worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You dont go buying peoples babies, so back off!!"
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)