words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Joey: You forget how many great songs Heart had.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Ross: Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
Gunther: (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Monica: No, thank you.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: You got it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Phoebe: Who said you were?
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Gunther: Okay, Ill see you in an hour.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Patron: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Chandler: So you uh, want to do something tonight?
Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7!
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
Rachel: Do you guys want these?
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news.
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
JOEY: Come on you guys, one more time.
Doctor: Oh my. Were gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Rachel: You just did a little dancy thing.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Ross: Dude, what'd you have?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Eric: Oh no, stay here well keep doing this. Ill pay you.
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
PHOEBE: No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
Monica: You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse.
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Chandler: Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please?
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Ross: What'd you say?
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Chandler: Thank you Helen, that'll be all.
Steve: I came to talk to you about Howard.
Monica: She lets you borrow them.
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
Ross: Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey youre with me.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Rachel: Oh my God. Did you talk to him?
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Chandler: What are you supporting?
Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Chandler: You know Oh My God.
Phoebe: (singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.
Ross: Yeah. What do you think.
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Monica: Hey, look at you! Where have you been?
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Rachel: To get you to make out with him!!!
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
RICHARD: Look I want you, now.
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Rachel: Ohh, well I'm not totally back yet, but thank you.
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Monica: So you gave in and decided to call someone?
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just thinking youre day could still pick up.
Rachel: Hi! Wow! You look, you look big.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Ross: I-I, did that for you.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.