words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
Rachel: No. No, you cant.
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Joey: (looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?
Joey: Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Chandler: Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Tag: Rach, Im sorry, but you didnt give me any contracts!
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Rachel: Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!
Tag: You wanna go down to the office right now?
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: Okay. Well, you be careful.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Monica: Are you still awake?
Chandler: Yeah! You?
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Monica: What?! What are you doing?!
Chandler: Do you know what just happened?
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!
Tag: Do you want me to check again?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: You put these on my desk!
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Tag: How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here?!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Phoebe: How do you know?
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Ross: So what do you want me to do?
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Chandler: Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes
Chandler: Do you wanna?
Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Joey: Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Frank: Oh cool! You made him cry!
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Dr. Miller: 1 2! (She flinches again.) (Gives up.) Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Rachel: I know. Im sorry. Look, Ill make a deal with you all right? Okay?
Gavin: I missed you at work today. How are you feeling?
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Monica: God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade.
Ross: Linda Clickclocken. (Pause) So what uh, what-what table are you at? (She shows him.) Oh, uh me too.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
PHOEBE: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Kate: I dont know! I just, just do this! I-I always have to pick the like the smartest guy, or-or the most talented guy Why cant I just pick someone like you?
Mrs. Waltham: Were very sad that it didnt work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think youre absolutely delicious.
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
Phoebe: Mon', not that you didn�t sound good, but...
Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
Mike: I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Ross: Yes! Youre the person who checked out my book?!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Danny: You two could really hit it off! I'm gonna go mingle. (Leaves.)
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
Joey: Oh, hey, Lauren. Uh, you guys this is, this is Kates understudy, Lauren.
Dr. Green: Come on! Youre just titling! (to Ross) Her legs are fine!
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Rachel: Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!
Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!
Ross: Hey, yknow what? This is your fault! Youre the one that didnt move his-his appointment.
Alice: Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present.
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
Monica: Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
The Salesman: Actually its, Vatican City. Now ahh, what do you know about vulcanised rubber?
Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?
Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Hillary: Whats a matter with you?
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
Rachel: Oops. Sorry! Well, good thing you number all of them, huh?
MNCA: You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
Joey: Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, Ill go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye.
Joey: Hey everybody! Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine. She's-she's gonna be my new roommate!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Will: Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
Monica: Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?