words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
Rachel: No. No, you cant.
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Joey: (looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?
Joey: Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Chandler: Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Tag: Rach, Im sorry, but you didnt give me any contracts!
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Rachel: Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!
Tag: You wanna go down to the office right now?
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: Okay. Well, you be careful.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Monica: Are you still awake?
Chandler: Yeah! You?
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Monica: What?! What are you doing?!
Chandler: Do you know what just happened?
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!
Tag: Do you want me to check again?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: You put these on my desk!
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Tag: How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here?!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Phoebe: How do you know?
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Ross: So what do you want me to do?
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Chandler: Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes
Chandler: Do you wanna?
Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: Do you think well get our three bucks back?
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Rachel: (laughing) Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time.
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right.
Phoebe: But... but... but we're giving you this!
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
Charity guy: Absolutely! And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian.
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
Ross: Are you kidding?
Monica: Thank you, Pheebs!
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Monica: What? You are way off, lady!
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Monica: You gotta help me out here Pheebs.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Monica: You don't know that.
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Rachel: You heard them say that?
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Rachel: Which one do you think she is?
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Rachel: What are you doing here!
Ross: No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous...
Joey: Yeah, where were you!
Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt ?
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Mike: You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during...
Joey: (whispering) Who do you think its from?
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Rachel: Oh, wait before you guys go, can I just ask you a question?
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Phoebe: How-how about you each get five vetoes?
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Phoebe: Ick, you were eavesdropping.
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Monica: Here you go!
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: I'll pull you through.
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Chandler: Can you ever feel your ears?
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Chandler: Are you serious? (they hug)
Rachel: I'm so happy for you!
Monica: You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Joey: Oh, I know how you feel...
Monica: All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys!
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: See, didn't I tell you?! You're getting over Ross already!
Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody?
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
Phoebe: Or you could stick a fork in an apple!
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Phoebe: Thank God you’re here. Listen to this!
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
ROSS: Look, can, can you do something for me?
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Joey: (impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?
Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!