words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Monica: How have you been?
Janice: I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! (to Chandler) And you, sweetie, Ill see you tonight.
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Emily: I cant believe you really walk alone here! I mean, you hear such stories about New York.
Emily: So how are you? Ive been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, Ive been rather busy.
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Emily: Oh my God. I think youre right.
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Liam: In fact were playing a game at the park tomorrow. Youre welcome to play too if you want.
Emily: Well I mean, youre American to start with. You dont even have rugby here.
Devon: So good then! Well see you at Riverside Park at 2:00! Cheers!
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. Thats right, yes, Im being transferred to Yemen!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Chandler: Yknow uh, you didnt really have to help me pack.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Youll see.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Monica: He asked you out?!
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Emily: And uh, Liam, Liams got bad knees. You hit him right and hell go down like a lamp.
Emily: I dont care! You just get him!
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought theyd brighten up the place. They do dont you think?
Rachel: And did you?!
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
Emily: You were amazing out there.
Emily: You really enjoyed yourself didnt you?
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Emily: I think youve got concussion.
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Emily: Youre welcome. (She hugs him tightly and he winces.) Im sorry. Did I hurt you?
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. Ill wait for you. Do you even know how long youre going to be gone?
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Janice: No! No! I wanna see you take-off.
Chandler: Well, I then guess Im going to Yemen! Im going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Monica: (To Monica) Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
Gary: I want you to move in with me.
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
RACHEL: OK, Phoebs. But what about you?
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didnt disagree with you.
Joey: Sweepin. Why? Turn you on?
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Lady: So? What do you think?
Rachel: Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Phoebe: You didn't get the money, did you?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Monica: I'm so glad you liked them!
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
Monica: That place in Vermont? You can take a hint!
Phoebe: Youll have a last kiss.
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.
Chandler: Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.
Lauren: You know! At the place I told you about last night?
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Monica: Youre gonna do some feet flirtin!
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
MONICA: I know you do. Me too. (pause) So what now?
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Phoebe: Sorry, Im so sorry, I will pay you back.
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: (closes her magazine) Can I get you some water?
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Monica: You hand-wrote it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Joey: You like me? (shuts the door)
RACHEL: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Chandler: Do you realize you get louder each week?
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Monica: What's going on with you?
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Ross: When you thought Joey proposed did did you say yes?
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Phoebe: You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go?
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Jill: Youll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didnt even tell me why!
Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies.
Mr Zellner: Well, you got uhm... good energy.
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Phoebe: Oh, there you are Ben!
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Store Guy: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Danny: So you like the short hair better.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.