words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Joey: Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Thank you.
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Monica: Youre on the phone!
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Ross: That was you?
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Elizabeth: (checks her grade) Oh, yknow what? Forget it, you already gave me an A.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Fireman #1: So uh, youre not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Fireman #1: Well uh, do either of you smoke?
Fireman #1: No-no-no, do you uh light candles? Burn incense?
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
Joey: When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: You dated her!
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Elizabeth: Oh yeah. So umm, did you have a nickname for me?
Elizabeth: Yes you did! What was it?
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Monica: Does that smell bother you?
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Monica: (opening the door) What are you doing?
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Elizabeth: What are you doing?
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Lydia: Arent you in my Popular Culture class?
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Mel: You are so fired.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Rachel: Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone.
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Rachel: (not excited anymore) You pierced her ears!?
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Rachel: Oh God! Thank God youre home! Im watching Cujo.
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
RACHEL: On someone's lips? Where'd you get the hickey?
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Monica: Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Rachel: Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna...
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Joey: There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
Rachel: Well, youre lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm The rest of you life, yknow? Any regrets?
ROSS: Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Chandler: Well, I then guess Im going to Yemen! Im going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Chandler: Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked!
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, yknow what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
MONICA: Blow drying what, you have no hair.
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Phoebe: How long has it been since you had sex?
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Ross: Awoh, thats right. Are-are you gonna be okay?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Rachel: (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
Phoebe: Okay, fine, I�ll move. Alright, you don�t have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you. Wach.
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Rachel: You guys are gonna come and visit me, right?
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Chandler: Jeez, man did you fall..(sees its a beautiful woman coming out of the mens room) Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high?
Rachel: Yknow what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
The Cute Guy: (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.
Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Phoebe: She's got her cell, you could call her.
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
JOEY: You want his yearbook?
Ross: Then how do you explain the toe ring?!
Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!