words in movies
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops?
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Ross: Well do you want some help?
Joey: Oh really? Thatd be great! You guys can be the contestants!
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Joey: I should know that. Lets see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Monica: Yes, thank you so much. And again, were so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Ross: Yknow what? Youre just upset because youre losing.
Joey: All right. Chandler, you can either spin the wheel or pick a Google card.
Joey: Choose, you jackass!
Joey: Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Rosss points!
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Mrs. Green: Oh youre gonna do that ten times a day?
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Mrs. Green: You cant leave a baby alone!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Joey: Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus!
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going?
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Ray: Whenever youre ready.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ray: Uh Joey, didnt your agents give you the revised rules? Weve eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards.
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Ross: Yes! Yes, youre gonna be so missed.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Ross: Im telling you.
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre-youre right.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: You should be!
Monica: Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink?
Phoebe: You got it!
Ross: You sure?
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Ross: Excellent! Excellent, now-now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango card?
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Ross: Great to see you!
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Rachel: Ok. If you really need to.
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Chandler: Why would you say that?
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
Rachel: Oh, great, Are you gonna be ok?
Ross: Did the TV wake you?
Joey: What are you doing?
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
Ross: Sorry. (Rachel sits on her bed). You ok?
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Rachel: Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy!
Monica: What is with you?
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Girl: Whatd you think I was, a hooker?
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Monica: Are you awake?
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Rachel: Oh, you bought me a present! Why?
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: Thank you.
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Phoebe: How could you possibly think that?
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Chandler: How do you know?
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday...
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Ross: Thank you. I'm glad you agree.
Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Rachel: (while entering) Hi you guys.
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Monica: See you guys later.
Sleep Clinic Worker: Alll right, well call you in a few minutes.
Kathy: No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy.
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Mr Campbell: You don't?
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
JOEY: What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: Can you?
Gunther: Six? You want me to join you?
Monica: How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and Ill make you a nice martini.
Richard: Noo! I came down here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you.
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Monica:: But you don't remember sleeping with her.
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Ah! I missed you
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Girl: Who are you?
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Mackenzie: What are you? Eight?
Rachel: (to Ross) Could you please get her attention?
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Ross: Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Man: You still don't know my name, do you?
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Assistant: You got two more twos?
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?