words in movies
Ross: Why do you care so much?
Monica: Yes Rachel, why do you care so much?
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Monica: Do you wanna go hunting?
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship?
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first?
Joey: Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees.
Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you?
Receptionist: Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.
Receptionist: Then why you work here?
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Ross: (looking down) Are you wearing two belts?
Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know!
Ross: You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?
Joey: You got to tell me exactly what to do there.
Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
Chandler: Why are you here?
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here?
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Rachel: Good for you Pheebs!
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Joey: That youre actually 50?
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Monica: Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food!
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? Thatll really work up your appetite for lunch.
Rachel: Ohh, thank you.
Joey: Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, Ill let you have her.
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: What are you crazy?!
Joey: I-I cant handle this, you guys.
Monica: Aww, thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Joey: I dont want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. (Gets an idea.) Ohooh! How about you come with me?
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! Thats why you have kids!
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Monica:: do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing.
Chandler: Well now you have two. Hey, I am good at math.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Rachel: Ohh, well you got em.
Rachel: (startled) Oh!! My God, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
MRS GREEN: I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this.
MRS GREEN: Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
Joey: So are you gonna tell him?
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Pete: Listen, can you promise me that you wont tell her though?
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Monica: They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Ross: Um, you know, just out of curiosity...
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Rachel: Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about.
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Monica: What are you talking about? We�re all together right now.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.
Robin Williams: Yeah, could you scooch?
The Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
Guy: (muffled) May I help you?
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Rachel: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Come on! Look where you are!!
Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
MONICA: I've been great, just great. How have you been? [tilting her head]
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Chandler: Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot?
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think Im cheap?
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Phoebe: (shocked) You know her?!
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Rachel: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Emily: You really enjoyed yourself didnt you?
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Monica: You bet.
Rachel: You fell asleep?!
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
Monica: Youre wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at all?
Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Gunther: (bringing Rachel a mug) Rachel, I made you a cocoa.