words in movies
Ross: Why do you care so much?
Monica: Yes Rachel, why do you care so much?
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Monica: Do you wanna go hunting?
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship?
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first?
Joey: Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees.
Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you?
Receptionist: Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.
Receptionist: Then why you work here?
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Ross: (looking down) Are you wearing two belts?
Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know!
Ross: You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?
Joey: You got to tell me exactly what to do there.
Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
Chandler: Why are you here?
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here?
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Rachel: Good for you Pheebs!
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
Chandler: Sure, you guys dont have this problem, youre made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!
Kathy: So what did you do today?
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a cheater!
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure?
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Rachel: You can go.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Joey: (entering) You opened them all?
Phoebe: Oh my God, are you okay?
Joey: There you go!
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Chandler: Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship.
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Monica: You kissed another woman!
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Ross: Hey! How you doing?
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Rachel: (entering) Oh good youre still here!
Monica: Thank you.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Monica: Now, are you glad we didnt start with the bikini strips?
Rachel: Oh! Y'know what? You're right! We meet, you flirted and then bamn nine years later you had me!
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Chandler: But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this?
Monica: Well, what were you gonna say?
Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Chandler: You already know.
Phoebe: No you didnt.
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Chandler: Seriously? Seriously, no! You can play your own age which is 31!
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Rachel: (sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing?
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Rachel: Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I cant believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me!
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
Rachel: You do?
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Chandler: Yknow its funny I started it but, now its scary me. So could you come out here please?
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monicas just gonna kill you.
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! Youre going to a clinic, and a pyjama store!
Joey: How are you doing?
Ross: You already know dont you?
Joey: Well, what did you say to her?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Man: Who are you?
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
CHANDLER: No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today.
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Ross: When have you ever?
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Ross: Do you really?
Ross: Thank you.
Monica: No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Monica: Relax! Youll be fine. (Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. Youre invisible now.
Monica: I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Monica: So, you wore your nightie to dinner?
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, were gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
Monica: That you can have.
Ross: Should I leave this open for you too?
Ross: Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go.
Ross: Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me.
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Joey: Youre welcome buddy.
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Rachel: You know you kissed me first.
Rachel: (entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
The Doctor: But, youre not identical twins.