words in movies
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
SCOTT: Where do you work?
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
SCOTT: Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha...
JOEY: Ha-ha. [Scott leaves] Are all you processors dorks?
RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
RACHEL: You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
RYAN: Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
JOEY: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
RYAN: You know what makes the itching even worse?
PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.
RYAN: What're you doing? Are you scratching?
RYAN: We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
CHANDLER: Uh, if you say so sir.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm going to kill you.
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
RICHARD: Thank you.
MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
MONICA: No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
JOEY: What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
CHANDLER: Thank you.
RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.
PHOEBE: It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
RYAN: Sorry. You look beautiful.
PHOEBE: You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mits, Ryan follows her lead.]
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
ROSS: You like that do ya?
RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Chandler: We've been driving for a half-hour, and you haven't looked at the road once.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Ross: Why are you laughing?
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Zack: (looking very puzzled) Okaaay... so eh... so tell me, how did you guys meet.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Monica: Do you know anything about women?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Monica: Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: Well y'know if you, if you started smoking again you could've at least told me! Come on, give me one of those! What are we talking about?
Monica: Are you okay? Youve been acting weird all afternoon.
Phoebe: Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? Im kinda hungry.
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Rachel: No, it's okay, you didn't know.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Chandler: (blocks the door) No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!! You can't come in here! R-r-r-r-Ross is naked.
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (Theres a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Dan: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Rachel: No! God, would you just calm down!
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Ross: You did it, man.
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Dan: So, I'll call you tomorrow.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Phoebe: Which one do you have?
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Monica: Well, can't you just have the party when we get back?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
MNCA: Do you not see it?
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
Ross: Pheebs, youre talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and its all for somebody else!
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Monica: What?! You can'twhat did you tell her?