words in movies
CHANDLER: I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
MONICA: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
CHANDLER: You or me?
JOEY: You guys are messin' with me, right?
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
RACHEL: You don't have birds.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
MR. TREEGER: I know. I was sweepin' yesterday. It coulda been me.ROSS: Sure, sweepin'. You never know.
MR. TREEGER: You never know.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
ROSS: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
MONICA: What can we do for you?
MR. BOYLE: All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two.
MONICA: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
ROSS: How can you not believe in evolution?
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
ROSS: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
MONICA: You don't have any stuff.
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
RACHEL: Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
PHOEBE: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
JOEY: Have you been here all night?
JOEY: All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
JOEY: I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
JOEY: You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right?
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
RACHEL: Ok, you win.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
MONICA: You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.
RACHEL: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
MONICA: You made it!
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
RACHEL: What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
RACHEL: Thank you.
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
JOEY: Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you?
JOEY: You want his yearbook?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
CHANDLER: Takin' that with you, huh?
ROSS: You comin'?
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Monica: You came?!
Ross: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill-slice-it-right-off third nipple.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Gary: Hey, honey! Okay, so did you find any apartments? Anything in Brooklyn Heights?
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Emily: You were amazing out there.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass...
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Joey: You got porn!
Phoebe: Where are you going?
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Monica: Oh dad, really you dont need to
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
Rachel: You bought boobs?
Woman: I can still see you!
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Monica: What? You freak! You wouldnt even have known about this place if it wasnt for me!
Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You havent touched Eldads hair!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Chandler: When did I try to give you money?
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
Monica: You do?!
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You thought about that?
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: You still have feelings for me dont you?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Chandler: Hey, you guys!
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Ross: Are you sure?
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: You could?
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
Ross: Well, so, you-youll get a job here! I mean, Im always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you!
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!
Phoebe: You do?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Joey: (in a sexy voice) How you doin'?
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
Joey: And youll be nice?
Monica: Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Phoebe: Did you find the dress?
Chandler: Yknow uh, you didnt really have to help me pack.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?