words in movies
CHANDLER: I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
MONICA: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
CHANDLER: You or me?
JOEY: You guys are messin' with me, right?
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
RACHEL: You don't have birds.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
MR. TREEGER: I know. I was sweepin' yesterday. It coulda been me.ROSS: Sure, sweepin'. You never know.
MR. TREEGER: You never know.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
ROSS: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
MONICA: What can we do for you?
MR. BOYLE: All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two.
MONICA: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
ROSS: How can you not believe in evolution?
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
ROSS: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
MONICA: You don't have any stuff.
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
RACHEL: Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
PHOEBE: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
JOEY: Have you been here all night?
JOEY: All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
JOEY: I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
JOEY: You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right?
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
RACHEL: Ok, you win.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
MONICA: You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.
RACHEL: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
MONICA: You made it!
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
RACHEL: What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
RACHEL: Thank you.
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
JOEY: Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you?
JOEY: You want his yearbook?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
CHANDLER: Takin' that with you, huh?
ROSS: You comin'?
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Fireman No. 3: We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then?
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.
Guy: No, you, you cant fit in that thing. Thats not deep enough.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
LITTLE BULLY: What's with you?
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Joey: We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Rachel: What? You really think she's hot?
Rachel: You have no respect for anybody's privacy!
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
Monica: Did you make brownies today?
Monica: You could do that!
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Gunther: You would think.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Mike: Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
Melissa: My God! You love me!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Ross: Just hear me out. How would you feel about offering her a raise? (looks hopeful)
Phoebe: Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didnt. Theres someone here who can explain this better than I can.
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Monica: Werent you nine?!
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Ross: All right, see you later.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
ROSS: You hated me when we were kids?
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
MONICA: Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica:: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on!
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?