words in movies
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Thats the creep that youre with at the Statue of Liberty.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Yeah, umm thats Whitney (Points), Kyles ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can yknow divert her so that we can slip out?
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Phoebe: Youre still gonna go out with her?!
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Phoebe: You see? Nothing is good enough for her!
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Monica: (seeing him approach) Hey! There you are!
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Tag: Uh-huh! Let me ask you something?
Tag: Do you believe that there is one perfect person for everyone?
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Kyle: Oh hey! Good, youre both here.
Phoebe: Both of you together?
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
Rachel: Oh, god, I know it, that I freaked you out.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Chandler: Will you marry me?
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Woman: Oh thank you.
Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but Im just doing this for you.
Rachel: What do you, what do you mean?
Frannie: I believe you know my husband.
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Joey: You are dogged man! I totally fit!
Phoebe: Youre actually going through with this?
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Phoebe: Although, dont feel like you cant visit.
Chandler: (sees the roll) Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Joey: (excitedly) Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who youwhat?!!
CHANDLER: Yeah, we really missed you guys.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
Joey: Oh great! Great! Thank you. (They shake hands.)
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
Monica: Did you smoke?
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
ROSS: Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.
Monica: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
(She sees Monica sneaking out) Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! (Runs out, knocking over the mike stand)
Ross: Here you go. (throws her the ball)
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Joey: Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Chandler: I dont know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: You want me to call her right now?
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Monica: Youll vamp?!
Rachel: How can you not remember us kissing?!
Rachel: Thank you Phoebe.
Mona: Oh, Rachel! Wait! Hey, I hope you dont take this the wrong way, but, but, um what are you doing?
Monica: Between you and
Chandler: All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, its over.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Ross: Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie.
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Monica: Thank you.
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey! Now remember what we talked about, you gotta be strong.
Joey: All right now All right, youre all set up. Youre good to go. Just hit record. All right?
Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Monica: You love me!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Rachel: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
Rachel: Wow! What do you do now?
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Ross: Hey, what you do on your own time...
Chip: So you still in touch with anyone from high school?
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Phoebe: Well, if you really wanna know, I'mOh! I can't tell you this.
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!