words in movies
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Thats the creep that youre with at the Statue of Liberty.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Yeah, umm thats Whitney (Points), Kyles ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can yknow divert her so that we can slip out?
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Phoebe: Youre still gonna go out with her?!
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Phoebe: You see? Nothing is good enough for her!
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Monica: (seeing him approach) Hey! There you are!
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Tag: Uh-huh! Let me ask you something?
Tag: Do you believe that there is one perfect person for everyone?
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Kyle: Oh hey! Good, youre both here.
Phoebe: Both of you together?
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Chandler: Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father?
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
The Museum Official: (To Monica) May I help you?
Kim: So anyway we really (Someone exhales and Rachel turns and coughs.) Honey, we're just smoking all over you.
Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
CHANDLER: You had to ask.
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Mark: (shakes Ross' hand) Nice to see you.
Monica: Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces.
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: I missed you too.
Rachel: Hi you guys!
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Jill: Would you like some gum?
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Chandler: Well, there you go.
Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh?
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
Phoebe: Listen, Roberts gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him?
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
Rachel: Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?
Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.
Monica: Hey. Call me when you get there. Okay?
Stage Manager: Look, we held the curtain for you buddy. Come on, lets go! Lets go!
Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Chandler: You said...
CHANDLER: You burn your mouth?
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Mrs. Green: You cant leave a baby alone!
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Monica: Hi, Dad, what are you doing here?
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong.
Monica: You're not just saying that are you?
MNCA: Five more and I'll flash you.
Rachel: Youre jokin right?
Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! Theyre mean and theyre stupid and-and I dont want my son learning them!
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Elizabeth: I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Chandler: And yet you dont recognize that youre crazy.
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Joey: But then you left.
Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Monica: Ooh, Phoebe, you look great!
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
Monica: Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.
MR. GREENE: You work and you work and you work on a boat...
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up.
Joey: Monica, how are you gonna do that?
Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Kathy: Oh wow. I really wish youd call me.
Phoebe: Monica, you don't know that.
JOEY: Ahh, you drive safe.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?
Ross: You gotta hear this story.
Rachel: What are you shushing?
Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in!
Ross: Thank you!
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"