words in movies
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Phoebe: Oh you you made pesto?
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
Tim: You are so talented.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Ross: Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go.
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Ross: Did that guy just call you Toby?
Ross: Well, why dont you correct him?
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Rachel: You dont know do you?
Joey: Hey you too!
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Kash: Hey! How come I havent seen you here before?
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Phoebe: But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Mr. Franklin: Oh then you know each other.
Mr. Franklin: What do you think of adding him to our team?
Mr. Franklin: Okay, I hear you loud and clear. Bob will stay put.
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you cant fire him today.
Monica: What?! You said he was sweet!
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Monica: What do you mean?
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Bob: Hey Toby, you got a sec?
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Ross: Rach? You wanna come?
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Ross: You set her up?!
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Ross: Hi. I-I hear youre going on a ferry tonight.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Kash: Hey Rachel! You ready to go?
Rachel: Yeah! All right, Ill see you guys later.
Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.
Rachel: Thank you.
Kash: Thank you.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Joey: Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do?
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Monica: (simultaneously) Youre fired!
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
Monica: Youre fired.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Tim: Thank you so much! Cause I-I know I can do better!
Rachel: Well Im alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think?
Rachel: Well better than you, but yknow still not what you want.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Ross: You wanna, you wanna grab some coffee?
Ross: Hey, I thought I cheered you up.
Rachel: Oh you did, there are twenty in here.
Ross: Wow! Uh how are you?
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Mona: (laughs then stops) Oh youre serious. Sure!
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Joey's Hand Twin: You can't sit here if you're not gonna play.
ROSS: No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me!
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big (Thinks) ot.
Rachel: Okay, youre right. Youre right. You cant help me.
Rachel: Oh God! This is silly, Im gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Ross: Well, you can help me!
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Rachel: Oh no, you guys, just stay here, Im gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come?
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Chandler: Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
Monica: Wouldnt you be?
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
MONICA: You flicked me first.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
CHANDLER: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
MONICA: Thank you.
CHAN: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
RACHEL: You want me to talk you out of it?
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Chandler: Yes! See you and I have always been like(motions that they think the same.)
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Ross: Im not proving anything. Okay, Im done listening to you. If I hadnt let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never wouldve put my fist through the wall!
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?