words in movies
Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Ross: Thank you.
Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.
Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing?
Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice.
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Monica: What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Monica: You have to tell David!
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Joey: Without that, you just got "lame with women".
Monica: Hi! There you are.
David: Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday.
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy?
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
David: Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival either... Can we at least hug goodbye?
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again)
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Ross: Thank you!
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Joey: Really? Do you not know Chandler?
Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
Chandler: What are you guys talking about?
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)
Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Mike: Did you uhm...
David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)
David: Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it?
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job...
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Ross: Thank you!
Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare...
Joey: (kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you.
Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.
Chandler: Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people!
Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Joey: Allright. See you later!
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Rachel: (from behind the bedroom door) YOU! You feel!
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.
Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Sandy: But you are a real boy!
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Joey: Wow! You blow my mind...
Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you?
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Fireman No. 3: We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then?
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.
Guy: No, you, you cant fit in that thing. Thats not deep enough.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
LITTLE BULLY: What's with you?
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Joey: We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Rachel: What? You really think she's hot?
Rachel: You have no respect for anybody's privacy!
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
Monica: Did you make brownies today?
Monica: You could do that!
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Gunther: You would think.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Mike: Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
Melissa: My God! You love me!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Ross: Just hear me out. How would you feel about offering her a raise? (looks hopeful)
Phoebe: Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didnt. Theres someone here who can explain this better than I can.
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Monica: Werent you nine?!
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Ross: All right, see you later.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
ROSS: You hated me when we were kids?
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
MONICA: Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica:: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on!
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?