words in movies
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Rachel: Oh wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh?
Rachel: You shouldnt.
Rachel: I know, but all that work youre doing to get it ready, I just (goes into her bedroom.)
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Phoebe: Honey, youve got to go. Whats his office number?
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Chandler: Oh yknow what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.
Ross: Really?! Wow! Thats-thats so nice, what are you gonna get me?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Joey: Hey! Dont do the crime if you cant do the time.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Joey: All right. But if you werent my best friend.
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: Hey! Im sorry! That(sees that Joey is about to leave) where are you going?
Chandler: Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back?
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that Ill stop seeing her?
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
Joey: Yeah! But if wouldve know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldnt have worried about it so much! See you around!
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Tim: Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen.
Tim: I gotta tell you, you look great now.
Monica: You look great too.
Tim: Youre an excellent patient!
Tim: Well, youve got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days.
Tim: If that helps you.
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Tim: Youre not wearing the patch yet.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Ross: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!
Ross: What did you get?
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Tim: Hi, nice to meet you.
Joey: You kissed my girlfriend!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Tim: Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Monica: I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.)
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Chandler: Okay, okay, you got it!
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Rachel: Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?!
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Joey: So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Monica: Thank you.
Tim: Oh my God! It didnt remind you of
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin in there.
Joey: Now go! Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from youre secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.)
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
CHANDLER: I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Joey: Okay, hey, museum geeks, partys over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parents basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Mr. Treeger:: Right. (Starts to leave) Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a girlfriend.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Ross: (coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, almost running into Tommy) Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you.
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Janine: (muttering to herself) Or Ill hear you.
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Emily: It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.
Rachel: Op! Wait, you dropped a pea.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Monica: Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Present Chandler's voice: Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Dont you?
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Ross: You wanna explain that?
Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
The Hot Girl: No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in.
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?