words in movies
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
Estelle: Theres just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Rachel: (calmly) Okay. Im sorry. Youre right, youre right.
Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons?
Chandler: Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?!
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
Chandler: (transfixed) Hi! Nice to meet you!
Cassie: Nice to meet you too.
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Chandler: Ill be right with you.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: Oh my God youre amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler!
Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Woman: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Rachel: What do you, what do you mean?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Monica: You know what? You can have mine.
Rachel: So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
Rachel: (excited) Are you serious?
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
Chandler: Are you really that busy?
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
Monica: Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered.
Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Joey/Drake: You don't love him!
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Monica: Thank you!
Monica: What are you doing here!
Rachel: NO! (pause) Or, cut!You know, that's your call!
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Monica: Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star!
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.
Monica: Can you hear me say "You're grounded"?
Phoebe: (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so softhello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Rachel: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Joey: Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had.
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Ross: What did you get?
Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
Benjamin: Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice!
Woman: (in a foreign accent) You are playing American football?
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Kathy: You really didn't have to. (Opens the box) Wow.
Chandler: Thank you, thank you very much!
Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)
Janine: Well, I dont know tonight when they yelled cut and we didnt get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you
Monica: What do you think brought than on?
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Joey: (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?
ROSS: Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids.
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Joey: Uh...well...just once...with you...
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Monica: You're a pig. And you can't do this.
FBOB: I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. [they hug]
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know thats actually a really good idea, because that way theyll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Monica: (whispering) You can't!
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Rachel: Oh wow, you didnt even try to unhook my bra!
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Mrs. Tribbiani: I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her?
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (angry) You are having a party tonight??
Rachel: Well, then so you just invite me...!
Rachel: You do that every year??
Chandler: Well you see in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Joey: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
Monica: (to Ross) So, did you two have fun?
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Phoebe: You! An actor?! Thats madness!
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Rachel: Nice to meet you.