words in movies
Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Ronni: Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
Monica: So you talked to your dad, huh.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Monica: That cant be your father.
Rachel: I can not believe your trading me!!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. So, how was your day?
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Ross: Oh, you-you sure? (She nods yes.) Okay. (To the girl) Okay. So whats uh, whats your name.
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
Monica: You didnt even take off your pants.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: (pats Chandler on the leg) That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Ross: Your make-up!
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
MONICA: Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.
Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.
Ross: Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Monica: well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me.
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Joey: Here she comes. Hold on, Im gonna make your life much easier.
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Rachel: Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
SUSIE: Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off.
Monica: Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Ross: 15? (Joey nods again) Your personal best! (Ross takes an Oreo and Joey mumbles, no!)
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Ross: Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Rachel: Your company has a fine foods division?
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Ross: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
CHANDLER: Hey Jo. When'd you start usin' mousse in your hair?
Joey: Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go?
Rachel: So, did you shave your legs?
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Phoebe: Excuse me, is this your car?
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Chloe: Good luck, with your girlfriend.
Joey: This is your place?
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Ross: You got ink on your lip.
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Chandler: It's your timer.
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
BIG BULLY: No, you can't use your watch.
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Phoebe: On your dresser.
Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
Rachel: Your sunglasses?!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Chandler: Your tax dollars?
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
Phoebe: You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
Whitfield: (sits down) Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Rachel: Yeah, he thought he broke your chair so he switched the chairs!
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Mike: Don't point your finger at me.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!