words in movies
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Joey: Put your hands together.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Rachel: Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?
Bank Officer: Close your accounts? Is there some kind of problem?
Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Ray: Uh Joey, didnt your agents give you the revised rules? Weve eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards.
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com.
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh hey! So, how did your doctors appointment go?
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
Ross: You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops because it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey thats your wife youre talking about!
Monica: Yeah but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird like mine is now!
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Phoebe: All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude".
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
Rachel: And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
JOEY: I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom comin'.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-IHey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Chandler: And, ah, you know, your fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place....
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Ross: No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot.
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Chandler: I think.... I think I can see your scalp.
Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Ross: I dont care about your dad! I care about Mona! She was there and now shes totally freaked out!
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
The Doctor: It says here that the knife went right through your shoe.
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
RACH: I can see that. I... just one phone call, I'll be very quick, I'll even pay for it myself. [man is still reluctant] OK, you're bein' a little weird about your phone.
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
First Dorm Guy: You put your balloons down!!
Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass...
Joey: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.
Charity guy: So you’re asking us to refund your donation to the children?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Chandler: Oh, thats fine! Go with your instincts, go with your instincts.
CHANDLER: You got a Cheeto on your face man.[Joey removes the Cheeto and eats it]
Tag: I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you is still good.
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Dr. Zane: It looks like your uterus is ready for implantation.
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Phoebe: Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch.
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Maitre D�: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Dr. Leedbetter: We've been getting reports of some very angry behavior on your part.
RACHEL: What, as part of your poor friends outreach program?
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.