words in movies
EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
MONICA: A mirror?
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
JOEY: Anybody want a croan.
PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.
JOEY: That's a two line part.
ROSS: So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!
EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.
EDDIE: Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac!
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.
JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30.
MONICA: One hour? You are such a leaf blower.
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
JOEY: Oh hey uh, be careful with that 3-D last supper, Judas is a little loose.
JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
MOVER: Uh, the dog. [points to a big poecelain greyhound]
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
EDDIE: So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal?
EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.
EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man.
CHANDLER: I, I'm sorry, I uh [unchains the door and opens it all the way] I already have a roommate. [Joey turns around in the leather recliner]
EDDIE: Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry.
JOEY: A little foos?
CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
Tag: Right there! That's my car! (Sound of a breaking car-window) Hey!!
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Phoebe: I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Rachel: Well, why shouldnt I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
Rachel: (pauses as she thinks and exhales loudly) We We are not going to let it be a problem.
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Chandler: Eh, somebodys in a good mood!
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts it down elsewhere. Then picks up a microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)
Chandler: (laughs) 4:00 A.M.
Dr. Miller: This is a glaucoma test.
Rachel: Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Mr. Zelner: Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute?
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Mr. Zelner: You wrote that you have a cute touchie?
Tag: (pause) Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and Im kinda strangely proud of my butt.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, weve been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Phoebe: (entering carrying a skull) Hey!
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Monica: About a half an hour.
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Maitre d': I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Joey: There was a seen in Footloose...
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
[Scene: Halloween Adventure, a costume shop, there is a salesman behind the counter, Ross enters.]
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Monica: Oh, my mom called, theyre gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so were looking for a good picture of us.
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
ROSS: You got me a cola drink?
Rachel: Uh, I-I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in?
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didnt deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Chandler: But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Joey: (entering wearing a Superman costume) Merry Christmas!
[Joey enters in a Superman-costume]
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Rachel: So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place?
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Phoebe: A little bit, yeah.
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.