words in movies
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Mr. Geller: Wait, how do you zoom out? (zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich) There she is.
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Monica: You dont have a car. And your license expired.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Ross: Hey, wanna wanna a little cheering up?
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Ross: (exhales sarcastically) Not two years in a row.
Rachel: Please tell me youre not gonna dress up like a dinosaur.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date and Joey is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Rachel: And you are a very funny clown. (Gives him candy.)
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Monica: Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Eric: Arent you gonna give me a kiss?
Eric: Im an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Ross: Well, Im a spud
Mona: Wait-wait! Youre umm, youre a potato
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Ross: Oh Ill prove it! Ill prove it like a theorem!!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff?
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Boy in the Cape: Youre a mean old woman. (Runs away.)
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Eric: Oh right, youve got a church group meeting tonight.
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Ross: Yeah? Me too. (Pause) Gettin a little tired though.
Chandler: No way! If anything youve gotta let me win! My wife thinks Im a wimp!
Joey: (to her) Youre a weird lady.
Eric: (finds it) What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Monica: (laughs) Is that a secret or a lie.
Chandler: Listen, Ive got a secret for ya. I let him win.
Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Brenda: Ill be back in a minute.
Eric: Im sorry. I just when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Rachel: I do too a little bit.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Monica: Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on were a team! Were in this together!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.