words in movies
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Mr. Geller: Wait, how do you zoom out? (zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich) There she is.
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Monica: You dont have a car. And your license expired.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Chandler: It's a four.
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
Phoebe: Oh well, lost again. (She gets up and slowly moves away. The lurker scurries in and takes her spot, only this time Phoebe set a trap for her and catches her in the act.) That's it! You and me, outside!
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
(They both start laughing. There's a knock on the door.)
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Monica: (shaking the dice) A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man! (Rolls the dice.) Yes!
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Phoebe: Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Phoebe: Whats the big deal, yknow? Its not like its a real marriage.
Ross: (reading the newspaper) Hey, heres a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
[Scene: Rachels hotel room, shes waking up with a horrendous hangover.]
Rachel: Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Monica: Thats a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you!
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joeys driving and having a hard time staying awake.]
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: Im asking you to do me a favor.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? Ive got a really good one! Ive been thinking about it since Kansas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I cant get in!
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhikers face), a rapist or a killer or something!
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
Chandler: This is not a sign!
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
(A cab pulls up.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Phoebe: But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send?
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]
Phoebe: Okay, what about you? (Points to Karin) Wouldnt you want a date?
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!!
Meg: Okay now I wouldnt date you because you seem a little creepy.
JANITOR: Oh, yeah, right. There was a break-in, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken.
Monica: No! But, Im throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Monica: Maybe, do you need a tissue?
Monica: Okay. Dont you want a cookie?
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Phoebe: But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Monica: But still, its a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?