words in movies
Clerk: Eight oclock is the cut-off and, (looks at his watch) aww, its 8:02.
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Ross: No, no, that wont be ah, that wont be necessary (leans down and looks up Roberts shorts, seeing Roberts package.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Monica: You touch peoples eyeballs every day and this feels weird.
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
(Enter Phoebe and Robert)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer.
(He puts his leg up on the couch to get the quarter, once again exposing himself to Chandler and Ross. In horror, Chandler, slides over and leans against Joey on the couch.)
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
(Joey recoils and gasps in horror.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Ross: Hes right, even if its to say something complementary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
(Robert looks down and realises the problem.)
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Ray: Yeah all thats gone. Its basically just a simple question and answer game now.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Rachel: Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Chandler: (gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
<they hug and kiss on check>
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
[Scene: The New School, Monica, carrying her dish, and Joey are confronting the food critic.]
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
The Cooking Teacher: Welcome to introduction to cooking. Now, before we start, can anyone tell me the difference between a hollandaise sauce and a bearnaise sauce? (No one can.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, continued from before.]
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
The Cooking Teacher: (tasting the cookie and with her mouthful) Oh, yum-yum-yum. (Hands the star back.)
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
Phoebe shakes her hand and says: Phoe-Be.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
<Monica and Amy turn away and walk into the living room towards the secret closet>
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
[Scene: The New School, Joey and Monica are walking down a hallway.]
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
MONICA: Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing.
(They look at each other and smile for a while.)
Phoebe: Fine! Ill call Zurich and move some money around.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)