words in movies
Clerk: Eight oclock is the cut-off and, (looks at his watch) aww, its 8:02.
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Ross: No, no, that wont be ah, that wont be necessary (leans down and looks up Roberts shorts, seeing Roberts package.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Monica: You touch peoples eyeballs every day and this feels weird.
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
(Enter Phoebe and Robert)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer.
(He puts his leg up on the couch to get the quarter, once again exposing himself to Chandler and Ross. In horror, Chandler, slides over and leans against Joey on the couch.)
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
(Joey recoils and gasps in horror.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Ross: Hes right, even if its to say something complementary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
(Robert looks down and realises the problem.)
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
(They all gasp and clutch each other.)
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Phoebe: No, Jack and the Beanstalk.
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the slumber party continues.]
Ross: (from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Rachel: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Monica: (leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?'
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
(Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.)
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]
Monica: (to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow up?
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Joey and Bob are talking.]
Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Pizza Guy: Hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion?
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
(Monica and Joey enter.)
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]