words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
Chandler and
Ross: Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Chandler and
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Monica: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?
Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier]
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Ross and
Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
Rachel: Right, and the humiliating.
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
(Joey and Chandler start to leave, Joey is lunging as he is walking)
(Monica runs into the living room, and starts dialing the phone)
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Ross: (entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
Rachel: And I still have about five seconds to spare. (kisses him) Okay, that was about seven seconds.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel’s old and now empty room.)
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Rachel: And a crappy New Year.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Monica: And?
(Chandler and Monica hug)
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Monica: And a baby...
(Chandler gives Joey her business card, which he eagerly grabs and he leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
Chandler: You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler!
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: (singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"!
Chandler and Ross: Way!
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Stage Manager : And we're out!
Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about?
Chandler: Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway.
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Rachel: All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find!
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Rachel: Well isnt it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Chandler: Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her.
Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Chandler: I'm in college and I'm in a band.
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
(the screen says "6 to win" and "types of trees")
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
(there's 10 seconds left, "1 to win" and "Supermodels")
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")
(the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings")
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Phoebe: Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and...
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an embarrassing long pause)
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Ross: Who cares, AND?
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.