words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Phoebe: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
(Ross's phone rings and he answers it.)
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Emily: All right. I'll come to New York and we'll try and make this work.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the chick and the duck are watching Emeril Live, a cooking show.]
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Monica: Why? (She hops into the living room and imitates Chandler's happy dance.)
[Scene: The Telethon, Joey's phone rings and he answers it.]
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
(Joey gets up and moves to the other end of his row to talk to the guy sitting there.)
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
(He carries her over to the door and opens it.)
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
[He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Monica: What?! Oh.(She turns around quickly and falls)
(She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Pete: I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef.
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
(Monica hugs her goes and hugs her)
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
WEDDING PLANNER: All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you.
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
Chandler: Okay. (He opens it and its a baby chick) Its a chicken.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is baby-chick sitting.]
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Monica: And well, we probably shouldnt see each other anymore. Im sorry.
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
[cut to inside Monica and Rachels]
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Ross: And! Break!!
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
[cut to Monica, Pete, and Cailin]
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
Kate: Oh, youre sweet and cute.
Joey: Oh, absolutely! Youre talented and youre good looking.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
Phoebe: No, no, Im fine, and yknow why? Cause of all the riboflavin.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'
Monica: When two people finally realise their feelings for each other, and-and they talk for hours, and they-they learn all about the other person!
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!