words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Chandler: Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Rachel: Oh, I dont know, I guess, Chris ODonnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Phoebe: And this is Rachel.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Yeah, no, were gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
(Joey places the toliet brush and holder over the hole, which is in the middle of the floor.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I cant. We dont have that....
Ross: And!! Isabella Rosselini.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Phoebe: Oh! Im a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.
Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: And who laminated it?
Rachel: All right let me see. (grabs the card) Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel?
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Frank: Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I cant believe that I screwed it up so bad.
Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...
Frank: How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesnt melt.
Frank: Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
(Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing Oh my God
Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
(Joey successfully enters the entertainment center, and Chandler closes the door on Joey.)
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
[He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Monica: What?! Oh.(She turns around quickly and falls)
(She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Pete: I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef.
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
(Monica hugs her goes and hugs her)
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
WEDDING PLANNER: All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you.
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
Chandler: Okay. (He opens it and its a baby chick) Its a chicken.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is baby-chick sitting.]
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Monica: And well, we probably shouldnt see each other anymore. Im sorry.
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
[cut to inside Monica and Rachels]
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Ross: And! Break!!
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
[cut to Monica, Pete, and Cailin]
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
Kate: Oh, youre sweet and cute.
Joey: Oh, absolutely! Youre talented and youre good looking.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
Phoebe: No, no, Im fine, and yknow why? Cause of all the riboflavin.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'
Monica: When two people finally realise their feelings for each other, and-and they talk for hours, and they-they learn all about the other person!
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!