words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Mike: What are you talking about?
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are packing stuff.]
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Ross: wow, are you still going to move in with him?
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler enters. Rachel and monica are seated at the table.]
Chandler: Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are!
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Chandler: Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross and Julie are setting the table.]
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
[In the bathroom Susie and Chandler are kissing. She backs into a stall.]
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
INTERVIEWER: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
GIRL 2 ON BUS: So what are you guys out doing today?
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: But, you are.
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
VAN DAMME: Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
RACHEL: These are from Halloween three years ago.
RTST: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
PHOEBE: Oh you are so lucky.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
DR. BURKE: Yeah. Are we nuts here?
RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?
RACHEL: Ah, so what are we looking at?
CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
MONICA: Are we still on that?
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
CHANDLER: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
Ms. McKenna: The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler and Eddie are talking.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
RACHEL: Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]