words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Chandler: We are. Hes meeting us here.
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Phoebe: Chandler what are you doing?!
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Rachel: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra.
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Rachel: Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Ross: Pheebs? What, why are you whispering?
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Monica: I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her?
Rachel: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
PHOE: You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. [they hug]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rob are sitting on the couch.]
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross and Julie are setting the table.]
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
[In the bathroom Susie and Chandler are kissing. She backs into a stall.]
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
INTERVIEWER: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
GIRL 2 ON BUS: So what are you guys out doing today?
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: But, you are.
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
VAN DAMME: Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
RACHEL: These are from Halloween three years ago.
RTST: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
PHOEBE: Oh you are so lucky.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
DR. BURKE: Yeah. Are we nuts here?
RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?
RACHEL: Ah, so what are we looking at?
CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
MONICA: Are we still on that?
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
CHANDLER: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
Ms. McKenna: The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler and Eddie are talking.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]