words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
The Dry Cleaner: Who are you?
[Scene: The Morgan Chase Museum, the girls are entering.]
Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! Im not getting married! Im not even engaged.
Elizabeth: Are you okay? Whats wrong?
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeths here! Who are you talking to?
Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)
Paul: Why are you yelling?
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Phoebe: What are you gonna do?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Joey: (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Monica: Who are you talking too?
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
Phoebe: Why are you dressed as a gladiator?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Chandler: What are you talking
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Phoebe: You guys are here! Yay!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Are you serious?!
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Monica: What are you guys gonna do?
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Joey: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Joey: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?!
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Ross: (to the panel) Look, Im sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just dont want to be divorced three times.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)