words in movies
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing as Leslie enters.]
(Sergei says something and leans in to kiss her, but just as hes about to....)
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Alice: Right, not just that. Umm, even though we love each other as much as we do, none the less
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
You don't have to be awake to be my man, As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, There's something I have got to say...
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Quincy M.E. as Chandler is walking into the living room from his bedroom.]
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Lauren: So long, Vic! (waving good bye as the ladder retracts)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
(Rachel goes into the bathroom as the guys continue throwing the ball.)
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
JULIE: No Cobb, as in cobb salad.
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
CHANDLER: Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign.
(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent of his body!
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is working as Monica enters.]
Chip: Oh yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
MR. GREENE: No no no, no no no, neat, as in no rocks.
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
(She closes the door and puts his tie into his mouth as a gag.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, shes the same size as me.
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Chandler: Well, Im so confused as to what weve been doing so far
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Phoebe: Oh, theres no such thing as an innocent burger.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV as Chandler enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Monica: No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is watching TV, and hes very depressed as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Joey: Okay. (leaves as the phone rings)
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Monica: Look, I-Im never gonna let you up so you may as well just go away.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Mrs. Lynch: (starting to cry) No, Im sorry. I have to go. (She leaves as Sophie arrives.)
(She sits back up as the policeman approaches. She undoes her top button.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]