words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
Rachel: Go on! Go on. (She turns back to Chandler.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Monica: Sorry, lets go back! Cause youve got more to say.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
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Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
David: Now, we should go back and take the other line.
Conan: Well be right back with more Friends, less me.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
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(Matt turns back and looks and them, but instead of his next line he starts laughing.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
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[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Chandler: Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states. (Smiles and hands Ross back his pad)
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Monica: Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Chandler: Were back!
Joey: Pheebs, give me the ring back!
Ross: Oh hey, right back at ya.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
Ross: Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that Im changing your grade back.
Rachel: Okay, yknow maybe I should come back (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on the way back.
Joey: Hey! Youre back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Brenda: Ill be back in a minute.
Eric: Welcome back!
Eric: Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just I got so angry just looking at her (Looks at Phoebe) face.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back.
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Ross: Thank you so much for coming back over.
Gunther: Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit. (hands Chandler back the cigarette.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Phoebe: (nonchalantly glancing) Hey. (Turns back around.) Wow! (Looks up.) Well done.
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
JANITOR: Oh, yeah, right. There was a break-in, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken.
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesnt see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
Ross: Maybe its uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Rachel: Right back at ya!
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)