words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
CHANDLER: Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?
CHANDLER: What's in the bag?
(She sets her bag down on the foosball table and Joey sees the Toblerone bar sticking out of it and gazes longingly at it.)
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
Rachel: Oh, its a Macys bag!
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Chandler: (giving her a bag) Here.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Ross: (entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: (walking up carrying a brown paper bag) Hey!
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Cheryl: (looking in the bag) Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat.
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
Mrs. Burkart: All right. I'll get my bag.
Tim: Uh. (He holds up a brown lunch bag.)
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
Rachel: It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag.
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
[Scene: Joey's audition, he is with bag.]
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
Phoebe: What's in the bag?
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Chandler: Theyre in my bag over there. (Points.)
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Ross: Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! (Holding up his garment bag.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch reading as Ross enters carrying a garment bag.]
Rachel: Ohh Oh, honey here. Take it all. (Pours the entire large bowl into her bag and closes the door.) Monica! We need more candy?
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.