words in movies
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
Chandler: Okay uh, heres the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
Monica: Thats Bill Clinton.
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Phoebe: Yes. Did you settle the bill?
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Mr. Geller: (Looking at ht wedding bill.) What the hell!!!
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
(A man walks up and puts a dollar bill in.)
Rachel: (looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Chandler: (with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?
Gunther: (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Gunther: (handing them the bill) Here you go.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Receptionist: Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay.
BILL: "Spuds" is your grandmother?
Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)
(Bill and Colleen look shocked.)
Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen?
(Bill and Colleen enter.)
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.]
Bill: What? Where did you hear that?
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
Monica: Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
Written by: Bill Lawrence Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Eric Aasen
Joey: No, we didnt even pay our cable billmaybe this is how they punish us.
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Bill: We went through the same thing when we were adopting.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.