words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
(They both look at each other for a while)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Both: (screaming with excitement) Aah!
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
(They both confer.)
(They both shiver in horror.)
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Frank: Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
(They both move to kiss again.)
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Both: Three.
(They both sit back down.)
(They both hug.)
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
(They both run and hug theyre respective partners.)
Emily: I love both of you!
Both: All right!
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug)
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
(They both turn and wipe their eyes.)
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
(They both kiss.)
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
(They both go to her apartment.)
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
(They both start laughing at him.)
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
Both: We can't do that. (They separate.)
(They both throw the scripts in his face.)
(They both start to read ahead.)
(They both exit.)
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
(Rachel and Sophie both back out and close the door without saying anything.
(They both exit.)
(They both stand real close together.)
Monica: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer thanOhhh! (They both realize something there.)
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
(They both walk off the court.)
Gunther: Here you go. (Serves them both some coffee.)
(They both turn around.)
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!