words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Rachel: My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
(They both get dejected and go sit down.)
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Kyle: Oh hey! Good, youre both here.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Phoebe: Both of you together?
Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Chandler: I would really love it if could do both.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are playing chess and are both studying the board intently.]
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
(They both go over to light the candles.)
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Phoebe: Both!
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Chandler: So we both finished our vows.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Chandler: Absolutely! Yknow, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker.
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
(They both go out into the hall.)
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
(They both laugh.)
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
(Ross and Joey both reach down and pull up their pants.)
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
(They both exit.)
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
(They both look at Phoebe.)
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
(They both sit down.)
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
(Pause as they both take another sip of coffee.)
Chandler: I totally understand. (They both laugh.) Can I just see your bra?
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Joey: Yknow what? Bring her both, and Ill have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Ross: So, I uh I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby.
Eric: Were both teachers.
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)