words in movies
Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Yeah, but Im the only one related by blood.
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joeys room followed by Joey.]
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Teleplay by: Zachary Rosenblatt Story by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Pete: Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica: Oh because it doesnt really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Scenes Taken From Episodes Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips, guineapig, Ruth Curran, Josh Hodge, and Me.
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now.
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Written by: Greg Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Coffee Mug Russian to Roman alphabet: Gabriela Horber
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Written by: Patty Lin Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help from: Didi Chow
Teleplay by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Story by: Robert Carlock Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Trudie Styler: Hi! (By the way, its actually her.)
Bobby: And by you.
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Written by: Robert Carlock Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? Im Dr. Schiff. (By the way, hes an attractive man.)
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Phoebe: Hi, Bubbles. Manly. Well, I just thought I would drop by and let you know how it went with Joey.
Written by: Vanessa McCarthy Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help From: Dan Gottleib
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Chandler: But what did he mean by rules?
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler: How about the closet by the bathroom? (The secret green door by the bathroom.)
Written by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Phoebe: Umm, Im a masseuse by day. (Stands with her hands on her hips like a Supergirl pose.)
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.