words in movies
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly With Minor Adjustments by: Tennant Stuart
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
[Joey's. Playing ping pong by himself.]
Originally written by ???.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
Originally written by .
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Originally written by .
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
JOEY: By someone besides Monica?
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Originally written by Alexa Junge.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Originally written by Brown Mandell.
Transcribed by Marita Bakken
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Written by: Michael Curtis and Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
ROSS: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
Chandler: Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
(An embarrassed silence... finally broken by)
Written by: Brian Boyle Transcribed by: Samantha Stein
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
(Monica throws the ball over Joeys head, its stopped from rolling away by a very beautiful woman.)
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Written by: Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Written by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Michael Borkow Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Teleplay by: Brian Boyle Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
Written by: Michael Borkow Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Originally written by Betsy Borns Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips [mmatting@indiana.edu] Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Frank: Yeah, so we just thought wed stop by and let you know theres still no pressure.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
(Ross goes into the room where Dr. Green is laying unconscious. He turns on the TV, puts his feet on the bed and starts watching a dinosaur movie where the dinosaur is caught by two cowboys. Dr. Geller awakes.)
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
JOEY: Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow it's expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax.
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Monica: By the way, Ross dropped by a box of your stuff.