words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burring this woman?
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, Im-Im happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Chandler: See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up.
Chandler: Oh, yknow what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Chandler: (entering) Hello, children!
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Chandler: Wherever! Ive got like 20!
Chandler: Yknow what, Im gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Rachel: Chandler!
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401-Ks to me?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Chandler: Yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on the back of credit cards.
Chandler: See, Im not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
Chandler: Oh, he works in the Fine Foods division.
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: Oh yeah! With who?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Hey, man!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is there.]
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Chandler: Ummmmmmmm, no.
Chandler: Why not?! Id be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to getoh I see.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh, yknow, yknow what Pheebs?
Chandler: Im not Jewish, so
Chandler: Bad dream?
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Chandler: Prague?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Chandler: Im sure youre right, but why?
Chandler: Oh, man. Im sorry, Im so-so sorry.
Chandler: I know! I know!
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Chandler: Ahhh.
Chandler: Die Hard still great!
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Chandler: Yeah, I just got uh, got plans.
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
Chandler: So uh, what did this woman look like?
Chandler: Thats sweet.
Chandler: Well, cause she came back the third summer and shed gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Chandler: Who?
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Chandler: Oooh, Im afraid that does not exist.
Chandler: Okay, there's something different though--Oh my God! You smoked!
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? (pats his Travel Scrabble game)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: I would really love it if could do both.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: Bye! (Exits.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different.
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are playing chess and are both studying the board intently.]
Chandler: Come on! Why are we here?!
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Chandler: The hot chicks?
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Chandler: Wow thats actually pretty cool.
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Chandler: Did she freak out?
Chandler: Right.
Chandler: You said no right?!
Chandler: (laughs) You said no right?
Chandler: No! That was a lie! See how easy that was?
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: Yes!!!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever!
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Janice: Chandler?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Chandler: Is that what youre thinking about right now?
(Chandler does the same nasal sound to Chandler.)
Chandler: Feelings, such strong feelings.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Chandler: Say again?
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Chandler: No, no, no. No-no-no.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Chandler: Yeahhh. Im tellin ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time....
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Chandler: Oh, okay, time's up!
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Chandler: Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?
Chandler: What equity investments?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Chandler: Okay, but if you can't no dinner!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
Chandler: Which smells delicious!
Chandler: What?
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Chandler: Huh! Where is the dog?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
Chandler: What is it doing here?
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Chandler: (gasping) Really?
Chandler: Okay, it's um
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.