words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Chandler: Ohh. Mmm.
Chandler: Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Chandler: Because it's too delicious.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Chandler: So
Chandler: Oh, whats at 8:00?
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters to find Chandler staring at another cheesecake box.]
Chandler: Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again!
Chandler: I cant seem to say goodbye.
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Chandler: Well Ive forgotten what it tastes like okay?!
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
Chandler: Good idea. Where do you want to go to lunch?
[Scene: The Lobby of Chandler and Rachels building, Chandler and Rachel are returning from lunch.]
Chandler: Well, thank you for lunch.
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Chandler: Mrs. Braverman must be out. (They move closer to it.)
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Chandler: Well, we dont want that.
Chandler: But we should take it.
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Rachel grabs the cheesecake and they take off upstairs.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
Chandler: Im full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, Ill regret it.
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
Chandler: What are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
Chandler: Oh really? Uh, Monica said she had a date at 9:00.
Chandler: Thats what Monica said.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
Chandler: Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Chandler: Oh yes!
Chandler: Oh yes!
[Cut to Chandler and Monicas as they enter.]
Chandler: Oh yes! Oh yes!
Chandler: Well thats not fair, youve already had some!
Chandler: What do we use to split it?
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
Chandler: All right, Ill pick that one. (Points.)
Chandler: (gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: Stick to your side!
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
CHANDLER: No.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
(She hits Chandler.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
Chandler: Not yet.
Chandler: God?
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
Chandler: Hey, Rach, can I get...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Well, maybe it was God, doing me.
Chandler: Well, you owe me one, big guy.
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Chandler: (entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: What stupid thing did you do?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: At least as long as I have the pants.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's Eric.
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Chandler: That's ok.
Chandler: Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
Chandler: Hey, sweetums.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Chandler: What did you just do?
Chandler: What did you just do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.'
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: I broke up with her.
CHANDLER: Maureen Rosilla.
CHANDLER: You or me?
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
CHANDLER: Ok, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
CHANDLER: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Chandler: (sarcastic) Ooooh. (looks dumbfounded at Joey's stupidity)
CHANDLER: Wow, he looks so normal.
CHANDLER: Whoa!
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
JOEY: Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
CHANDLER: (on phone) Hi, it's me.
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I understand.
CHANDLER: Oh, my, god!
CHANDLER: Congratulations.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
CHANDLER: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
CHANDLER: Whoa! Don't know about that.
CHANDLER: I'll take that.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
CHANDLER: Takin' that with you, huh?
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
CHANDLER: You bitch.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?