words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
Chandler: I'm sorry!
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Chandler: Can I just say one thing?
Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
(Chandler stays stonefaced)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
Chandler: Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?
Chandler: Well, you're gonna.
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Chandler: Yeah. I really do.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Chandler: Get off!
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?
Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.
(Chandler laughs)
Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Chandler: Multiple, so many paper cuts.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, well give me the phone then.
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
Chandler: The food there was, was great.
Chandler: Noo!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Chandler: So take care.
Rachel: Chandler!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Chandler: Look, Im sorry. Okay? Im weak, and pathetic, and sorry.
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Chandler: AhhhhIm not going to call you.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Chandler: Yeah, o-okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Oh my God! Whos gonna watch that?!
Chandler: Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. (Goes back inside and shuts the door)
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Chandler: Could be Casey.
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Chandler: You!
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: She?
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Chandler: Excuse me?
Chandler: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Chandler: Ill take her back tomorrow.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
CHANDLER: Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Chandler: Having a swim.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Chandler: Bye!
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Chandler: Oh! Worm medicine for the duck.
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Chandler: So thats the girl you like.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
Chandler: Could I borrow it?
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home!
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Chandler: Diet soda.
Chandler: Yes!
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!