words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
Chandler: I'm sorry!
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Chandler: Can I just say one thing?
Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
(Chandler stays stonefaced)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
Chandler: Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?
Chandler: Well, you're gonna.
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Chandler: Yeah. I really do.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Chandler: Get off!
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?
Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.
(Chandler laughs)
Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)
Chandler: (panicked) ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Chandler: Oh, ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Chandler: Oh, are we playing this?!
Chandler: So it did go well.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: As crazy as soccer?
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Phoebe: Chandler, Chandler.
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Chandler: Janice?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
Chandler: Janice?!
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Chandler: Cupping.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Chandler: Yknow what? I-I kinda have.
Chandler: I cant believe I did this! What an idiot!
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(Chandler does this throat sound.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is entering to find Chandler waiting patiently for him.]
Chandler: Sorry! I-I-I dont know what to say.
Joey: I cant believe this Chandler!
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Chandler: Yknow, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean!
Chandler: Oh, we could do this all day.
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: I think so. Yeah, get off me.
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Rachel: Okay, Chandler!
Chandler: Okay.
The Woman: Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
(Phoebe winks and licks her lips while eyeing Chandler.)
Chandler: Hey!!
Chandler: (To Monica) Oh, well thank you in advance. (Kisses her.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not Elizabeths dad?!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because youre really not supposed to do that.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Chandler: (to Ross) Wellll?
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
Chandler: Ross!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Chandler: Yes, we were just