words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed. Hey, do you know a six-letter word for red?
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Chandler and Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Chandler: Hi, Joe.
Chandler: Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Chandler: No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom.
(Monica and Chandler both remember a special moment between them.)
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Chandler: Okay.
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: (straining) Okay.
(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)
Chandler: Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore!
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
Chandler and Rachel: You think?!
Chandler: Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now.
Chandler: Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: (stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?
Chandler: Ooh, I do! I do! I do!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
(Chandler busts out laughing and everyone just looks at him.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Chandler: No, no he went for a walk.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the door with a blanket]
Chandler: Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
Chandler: Clunkers?! Oh my god!
Chandler: (to Clunkers) It is so good to see you!
Chandler: Oh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere.
Chandler: It's up to you.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay.
Chandler: Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. (Does so.)
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Chandler: Hey! What are you guys doing?
Chandler: But we dont know the neighbors.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Wouldnt it be easier if we just moved?
Chandler: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay.
Chandler: Eh, somebodys in a good mood!
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Chandler: Weirder than watching his two moms make out? (Monica nods in agreement.)
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
Chandler: (laughs) 4:00 A.M.
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Joey: Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried!
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
Chandler: Yknow what would work?
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Chandler: Stop making candy!
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Chandler: Centerpieces!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Chandler: Joey!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, weve been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Chandler: All right, yknow what? Forget it, all of you forget it! Youve ruined it! Go home! Youve ruined it! Youve ruined it!
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Chandler: Youre welcome. (They kiss.)
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
Chandler: Pheebs?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Skull?
Chandler: betrothed couple.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Lovely!
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: How long have we been home?
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: No reason, except she told me.
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Chandler: Ohh! You guys gonna be living together again?
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: (pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Chandler: Okay. (Walks back to Monica)
Chandler: Forty-five minutes? We have tickets to the Musicman at 8:00.
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Chandler: (walks up to the Maitre d') Excuse me...
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is serving Chandler and Monica coffee.]
Chandler: Hey Pheebs!
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Santa? Really?