words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar wearing huge dog-slippers]
CHANDLER: So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? [squeezes the ear of one of the slippers and it barks] Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
CHANDLER: Yeah well, I hear the place looks great.
CHANDLER: Oh hey, it's, it's terriffic. I mean it's a regular space... fest.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
CHANDLER: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together.
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
CHANDLER: But...
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
CHANDLER: So uhh, how's the palace?
CHANDLER: Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
CHANDLER: Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
CHANDLER: Hey Jo. When'd you start usin' mousse in your hair?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
CHANDLER: Morning.
CHANDLER: Oh it's uh, over there on the table.
CHANDLER: No, Eddie likes to keep it over there.
CHANDLER: Oh, ooh.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
CHANDLER: See ya. [Eddie leaves]
CHANDLER: Oh, I couldn't be happier.
CHANDLER: There's another carton right over there.
CHANDLER: Alright, so what's it about?
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
CHANDLER: Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball?
CHANDLER: [stares in disbeliefe] Yeah o-, OK, alright. [oven timer goes off] Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
CHANDLER: Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.
CHANDLER: Oh o-, OK man.
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
PHOEBE: Chandler.
CHANDLER: [reluctantly sings] You're obviously not their favorite pet.
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Chandler: (confused) Sure...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Rent?
Chandler: A pen.
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Chandler: For three years?
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: Where?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Chandler: Oh yeah? That's great!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah... yeah.
Chandler: Happy birthday! I'm sorry.
Chandler: Hey! Happy birthday.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Chandler: Uh, the book?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh my God! Play!
Chandler: You mean like, music?
Chandler: Come in!
Chandler: I don't know... um, Grease?
[Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy]
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Chandler: Why cant you tell her?
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Chandler: Really, bitchin!
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: Kay.
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Yeah. Yes! Yeah.
Chandler: Okay.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation?
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Chandler: I-I think we have too.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: What-what cha doin?