words in movies
[Cut to inside Monica and Chandlers, Monica, Chandler and Joey are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Rachel: Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation?
Chandler: What?! No! No!
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Chandler: (interrupting him) We didnt play it!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Chandler: I didnt know you read tea leaves.
Chandler: What does yours say Pheebs?
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cooking as Rachel paces nervously.]
Chandler: I know its tough now, but things will get better.
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
Chandler: In the James Taylor case.
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Chandler: Well, if were gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Yknow alphabetically or by genre?
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, and now Rachel are organizing CDs.]
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Chandler: You can always sell your baby.
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
Chandler: Really stupid.
Chandler: Yeah. No. No...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Nice save.
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: ...Dinah?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, we're done.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Chandler: Mento?
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Oh, no-
Chandler: Shall I carve?
Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Chandler: I'm not moving out.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Chandler: Aw, don't do that
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Chandler: More coffee over here, please!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Chandler: You pick one.
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: I know!
Chandler: I can't believe you did this. (Walks toward the door)
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: We used them as pillows when we went camping.
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Chandler: Yeah, get out!
Chandler: I'm sorry!
Chandler: Can I just say one thing?
Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Chandler: Huh.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.
Chandler: Tell me what?
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering with a peace offering of a Joey Special, two pizzas.]
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]