words in movies
Chandler: Tell me what?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?
Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Chandler: You're okay there?
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
Chandler: Hello Rachel.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
Chandler: Pirates again?
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Chandler: When we were?
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Chandler: Can you hear that?
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Ah!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Bye bye.
Chandler: (answering it) Yes?
Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)
(Phoebe and Chandler enter)
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Noho. Who doesn't they like me?
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Chandler: They do me?
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
Chandler: Tyrannosaurus!
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: You think I should?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Chandler: They do?
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Chandler: But I just wa...
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.
(Chandler struts out from his apartment)
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Chandler: Here we go, here we go.
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Chandler: I understand: who would cancel an actual date to go to a fake bachelor party?
Chandler: Hey Rach!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: I have my reasons.
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Chandler: She answered.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.
Chandler: Hello? Hello?
Chandler: So how's Mindy?
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: What?!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Danielle: (entering) Chandler?
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Chandler: Okay.
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
Chandler: Might wanna try Joseph.
Chandler: Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin?
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me...
(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.
Chandler: So what does this mean?
RACHEL: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
Chandler: She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.
Chandler: (stuttering incoherently) F-hah.... flennin....
Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)
Chandler: Its yelling bleeding dilating. Oh, the dilating
Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You'll get one.
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Chandler: Where have you been?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Chandler: �Pudo aver sido General Tso! (It could've been General Sal!)
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?
Chandler: I know, I still am one of these.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)