words in movies
Chandler: Tell me what?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?
Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Chandler: You're okay there?
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
Chandler: Hello Rachel.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
Chandler: Pirates again?
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Chandler: When we were?
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Chandler: Can you hear that?
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Ah!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Bye bye.
Chandler: (answering it) Yes?
Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)
(Phoebe and Chandler enter)
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Noho. Who doesn't they like me?
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Chandler: They do me?
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
Chandler: Tyrannosaurus!
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: You think I should?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Chandler: They do?
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Chandler: But I just wa...
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.
(Chandler struts out from his apartment)
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Chandler: Here we go, here we go.
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: Thats great!
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: You made pottery?
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Chandler: So you kissed her, so what happened after that?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Chandler: Yeah all right. (They part.) Okay, good night guys.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Chandler: (reading it) Elizabeth Hornswoggle?
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?
Chandler: Okay, one more time.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Chandler: Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!
Chandler: Oh yeah!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
Chandler: Yeah, Im sorry man. (Pause) You wanna go watch?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Chandler: You okay?
Chandler: Hey so, did uh, did she move out?
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Chandler: I made that joke up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
Chandler: Seriously?
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Chandler: Its my joke.
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Chandler: Whoa ho.
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
Chandler: Oh, what can happen? I mean, would you (He gestures and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Chandler: Yeah!
(He and Chandler crack up.)
Chandler: Okay (he goes to sit down).
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
Gunther: Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Mon, get out here!
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Chandler: Can I finish my story?!
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.