words in movies
Chandler: Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard!
Chandler: Okay, so Richard, Richard!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How much did I love The King and I? (Oh, you get the point by now.)
Rachel: Chandler!
Chandler: You okay there man?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Wow umm, calm down.
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
Chandler: You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing! What's the movie about?!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Yeah, I know that means buddy!
Chandler: Well, uh, we can talk about that too Pheebs.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
Chandler: Thank you.
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Chandler: What?
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Chandler: So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money?
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Chandler: All right, bye-bye now!
Chandler: Okay!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Chandler: We've been driving for a half-hour, and you haven't looked at the road once.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Isn't that Ross's money?
Chandler: I don't know.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Too dry.
Chandler: No!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: I also said, "Yes!"
Chandler: No! (Realizes) Ahhh!!!
Chandler: Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high.
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Chandler: Oh, you don't want me on the trip?
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Chandler: All right, fine! Fine! Why don't you pull over? I'll get out right now!
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
Chandler: All right!! (Gets out and Joey speeds away.) Wait! Wait, there's no sidewalk! Yeah, I'm gonna die here.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Joey kicked me out of the car on the George Washington bridge!
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Chandler: That's a good idea. I wonder where I could (Pause) get a basket of porn
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Chandler: That's right.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Chandler: Cookie?
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
CHANDLER: I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back?
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Chandler: What?
(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Chandler: (with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Chandler: I have no idea.
Chandler: It's a beautiful thing.
Chandler: Oh, God.
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: All finished!
Chandler: Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union!
Chandler: (thinks) That's the perfect amount!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Chandler: Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats.
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
Chandler: That is amazing.
Chandler: ...Take off their hats!
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...
Chandler: Yes, please don't spoil all this fun.
Chandler: HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!
Chandler: 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'
Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Chandler: Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. (Rachel sits down to hear Chandler's dream.)
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burring this woman?
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: What does she do?
(He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.)
Monica: Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"
Chandler: Hey, that was really good!
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]
Chandler: Not so much!
Chandler: "Smoke away."
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Chandler: Relax your hand!
Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.
Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!
Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.
Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)
Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
CHANDLER: Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel.
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
(Chandler lights a cigarette.)
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!
Chandler: Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?