words in movies
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!
Chandler: Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs.
(They are standing on either side of Chandler as they discuss the point. Chandler, meanwhile, is disgusted with the whole argument.)
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler: Uhh, yeah. She uh, she uh, she uh might've mentioned him.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the chick and the duck are watching Emeril Live, a cooking show.]
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
Monica: (entering) Hi Chandler.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: What's your point?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
Chandler: Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves.
Chandler: All right, let's show them how it's done.
Chandler: Y'know that wasn't part of it?
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Chandler: Nope.
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
CHANDLER: No.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
(She hits Chandler.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
Chandler: Not yet.
Chandler: God?
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
Chandler: Hey, Rach, can I get...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Well, maybe it was God, doing me.
Chandler: Well, you owe me one, big guy.
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Chandler: (entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: What stupid thing did you do?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: At least as long as I have the pants.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's Eric.
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Chandler: That's ok.
Chandler: Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
Chandler: Hey, sweetums.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Chandler: What did you just do?
Chandler: What did you just do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.'
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: I broke up with her.
CHANDLER: Maureen Rosilla.
CHANDLER: You or me?
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
CHANDLER: Ok, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
CHANDLER: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Chandler: (sarcastic) Ooooh. (looks dumbfounded at Joey's stupidity)
CHANDLER: Wow, he looks so normal.
CHANDLER: Whoa!
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
JOEY: Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
CHANDLER: (on phone) Hi, it's me.
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I understand.
CHANDLER: Oh, my, god!
CHANDLER: Congratulations.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
CHANDLER: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
CHANDLER: Whoa! Don't know about that.
CHANDLER: I'll take that.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
CHANDLER: Takin' that with you, huh?
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
CHANDLER: You bitch.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?