words in movies
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: (he enters) Hey honey!
Chandler: Is Monica not here?
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! (silence) Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!!
Chandler: Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part.
Chandler: First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor.
Chandler: Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions?
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Chandler: Hey you guys.
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler: Joe...
Chandler: Fine!
Chandler: Work, Joe!
Chandler (to Rachel): What am I gonna do now?
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
[Scene: Chandler walks into Joey's apartment]
Chandler: Hey Joe!
Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Chandler: (Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Chandler: (looks surprised) What!? Of course I did!
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Chandler: I watched it!
Chandler: (now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did!
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
Chandler:(In a sarcastic "of course not"!-tone) No!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Chandler: What did I just say?
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Chandler: He really is a chameleon.
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey's home alone, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Chandler: Lying is wrong!
Chandler: I'm a pretty little girl.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Chandler: Uh-huh!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Chandler: (entering) Ahh, third base.
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, I should probably call them.
Chandler: Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: What about when I started dating Chandler?
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Chandler: Well, I have some.
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Chandler: Well, youre not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?
Chandler: Yes, I am!
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Ehh.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: Oh yeah, totally!
(Ross leaps out of his chair and runs out the door, with Chandler in hot pursuit.)
Chandler: Hey, you guys!
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: No I didnt!
Chandler: No!
Joey: Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandlers eyes!
Chandler: Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Chandler: I got glasses!
Chandler: What we want honey.
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Chandler: Do you know what I was thinkin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: Well, did-did you correct him?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Oh no problem, maybe Ill play with my left hand.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Does anybody know me?!
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Chandler: Dont worry about it Pheebs.
Chandler: An old cookie?
Chandler: We cant accept this.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
(Chandler looks over and sees Ross glaring at them.)
Ross: (entering with Chandler) Hey.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse.
Chandler: Guys?
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
Chandler: Why do they put so much steam in there?!
Chandler: I know.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Monica: Oh my God Chandler! I cant believe it!
Chandler: I dont want him to tell this story for years.
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Chandler: (getting up) All right, Im off to see your dad.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
Chandler: And thats the Chrysler Building right there.
Chandler: So I guess we wear swimsuits in here!