words in movies
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah!
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Well, yeah actually.
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Chandler: Help!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Chandler: Hi, Pheebs!
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Chandler: What is going on here?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Chandler: OhI don't know.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Chandler: Ross?
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Chandler: All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this.
Chandler: Joey's a sex addict.
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Chandler: Well let's .let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Chandler: Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Chandler: Uh-huh!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Chandler: (entering) Ahh, third base.
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, I should probably call them.
Chandler: Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: What about when I started dating Chandler?
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Chandler: Well, I have some.
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Chandler: Well, youre not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?
Chandler: Yes, I am!
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Ehh.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: Oh yeah, totally!
(Ross leaps out of his chair and runs out the door, with Chandler in hot pursuit.)
Chandler: Hey, you guys!
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: No I didnt!
Chandler: No!
Joey: Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandlers eyes!
Chandler: Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Chandler: I got glasses!
Chandler: What we want honey.
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Chandler: Do you know what I was thinkin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: Well, did-did you correct him?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Oh no problem, maybe Ill play with my left hand.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Does anybody know me?!
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Chandler: Dont worry about it Pheebs.
Chandler: An old cookie?
Chandler: We cant accept this.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
(Chandler looks over and sees Ross glaring at them.)
Ross: (entering with Chandler) Hey.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse.
Chandler: Guys?
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
Chandler: Why do they put so much steam in there?!
Chandler: I know.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Monica: Oh my God Chandler! I cant believe it!
Chandler: I dont want him to tell this story for years.
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Chandler: (getting up) All right, Im off to see your dad.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
Chandler: And thats the Chrysler Building right there.
Chandler: So I guess we wear swimsuits in here!